Here are 2 of my favorite Christmas memories:
1. It was 1989 (I'm not really exactly sure of the year, but I like the sound of that) and we had just finished tearing through all of the wrapping to get to the goods. I could always tell when it was a good Christmas haul by how exhausted I was after opening everything. Generally, if I was found collapsed in the couch cushions staring off at nothing in particular, it was because there were too many options to play with, thus a good haul. I think the entire family was lounging on the couches sharing some "Remember when..." stories. You know the ones: Remember when Frankie dressed up like a girl and knocked on the door pretending he was the baby sitter... Yeah, those kind of stories. Anyways, while we were reminiscing, I noticed something lumpy at the bottom of my stocking. I reached down and discovered it was a piece of chocolate (one of those foil-covered chocolate footballs.) I immediately unveiled the treat and popped it in my mouth. After a few seconds of trying to chew up the little morsel, my dad asked me what I was eating. I told him it was a piece of candy from my stocking, to which he replied,
"We didn't put any candy in your stocking." Come to think of it, there wasn't any candy in our stocking the year before. Basically, I was chomping on something that was at least two or three years old that had been stored in cardboard boxes in the basement and tasted like straw. Luckily, there was foil on it, or it might not have been chocolate at all, if you know what I mean.
2. What's a good Christmas memory without a healthy dose of sleep terrorization (don't think that's a word, but I consider myself a writer and therefore I dub it a word.) It was our second Christmas together and Heidi and I spent it with her family. Late Christmas eve, we all decided to sleep out on the couches downstairs (everyone except for Heidi's parents.) Sometime during the middle of the night, I started dreaming that Heidi and I were trapped on the dock at some warehouse and a giant semi-truck was backing up right for us. Heidi was pregnant (in real life and in my dream) and couldn't move. I knew I needed to get the attention of the driver or we'd be smushed. So I screamed at the top of my lungs. "HEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!!!!" Of course, my voice boomed through the house probably sounding like a high-pitched whistle. Everyone jolted awake and my wife tried desperately to calm me down. I still remember hearing Heidi's sister Keri starting to panic.
"What's wrong with him? Why is he doing that?"
To which I answered in my best Golem from Lord of the Rings voice, "My precious!"
I think I was awake by that time, but I'm not completely sure. Keri was completely freaked out and started to cry. Merry Christmas!