Just a Quickie!

Hey, so I just had to announce that Hashbrown Winters and the Mashimoto Madness is out in book stores! It's available to order at Amazon... Here
It's at Deseret Book on the shelves. I'm not sure about Barnes and Noble other than it's on their website... Here

It was supposed to be out January 11th, which by the way is the date of my release party at the Sandy Barnes and Noble. Everyone's invited!! Please come... I'll do tricks.

I'm so stoked to see it out before Christmas. That's crazy!

Oh, also, here's a really cool thing too. So I was at the Barnes and Noble in Orem doing a signing a few weeks ago and Brandi, the Customer Relations Manager was talking about how Cedar Fort sent her a copy of Mashimoto Madness to review, but it was all weird. I asked her what she meant and she said that she wasn't expecting an ARC (Advanced Reading Copy). I told her there's no way it was an ARC, because my book didn't get ARCS printed. She said, yes it was, and she showed me this really cool black and white copy of Hashbrown Winters and the Mashimoto Madness. I couldn't believe it. It was the coolest thing I've ever seen. My book has an ARC. That's saying something.... I guess. Well, I was so excited I had to call Cedar Fort and beg for my own ARC because I just had to have one. Wow! What a stupid anecdote. Ho hum! Now, go out and buy the second Hashbrown Adventure. It should be a fun one.

Nostalgic Moment #28

Dating. The word itself causes a variety of emotions. Giddiness, anxiety, nausea... To be honest, the bad emotions always outweighed the good ones and therefore I'm grateful that I don't have to endure "Dating" anymore. Sure I still go on dates with Heidi, but I no longer have to stress about the "What do I do now" moments that would randomly manifest themselves on the various dates I've been on throughout my life.

For example, once when I was dating Heidi in college I was having a miserable time because I had decided to devour an entire bag of dried apricots for lunch earlier that afternoon. Why did I do that? Well, that's not the topic of our conversation this evening, so let us go on. For those of you that haven't made the mistake of eating an entire bag of apricots, you're probably asking yourself what's the big deal. Without divulging too many details about the atrocities that occurred on that date, I'll just leave you with this one image. Unbeknownst to Heidi, she had the displeasure of attending an orchestra concert even though we never left my apartment and sat on the couch watching a movie. The woodwinds were exceptionally loud that evening if you know what I'm saying. What do I do now? Because I was in dating mode, I did the only decent thing I could think of. I ended our date early at around 7 p.m. and left Heidi on her doorstep, but not before departing with one resounding note on my trumpet.

Because I'm married, the "What do I do now" moments are easily answered. Now, when I eat an entire bag of apricots (not a regular practice) I enjoy a much noisier evening watching sports and giggling. Heidi is free to join me if she so desires, but it's at her own risk.

I've been on some real dating doozies in my illustrious career, many of which left me at some point during the date asking myself, "What do I do now?"

1. I've been on back-to-back blind Internet dates with two different strangers that did not turn out favorable. To my defense, I was not the one that set up these dates. I was visiting a friend at his college and he thought it would be fun. It wasn't. On the first date, I actually insulted the girl by mistake and at one point feared for my well-being. What do you do when your first attempt at a blind Internet date goes to the toilet? Simple. Try again. The second date had identical results as the first. I actually thought one of the girls was kind of nice, that was until she drove over two hundred miles to stalk me in my college dorm room. What do I do now? Yeah, with this particular one, I didn't ask myself that question soon enough.

2. My junior year of high school, I was asked by a girl to homecoming. Normally, this is a dance where the guy does the asking. I'm not trying to be a pig, but statistically this was the case, at least it was when I was growing up. What do I do now? Well, she was really cute, so I did what I thought was the right thing to do. Nothing. I didn't do anything. Since I didn't have a car, and was too stupid to arrange it with my parents to drive one of theirs, I rode with my date's mom to homecoming, danced for a while (probably not with any girls... just by myself) and then had her mom drop me off before 10. Oh, and I'm pretty sure instead of a corsage, I gave my date fruit snacks. Okay, maybe that's not entirely true, but it definitely adds to my loserness on this particular date don't you think?

3. Once during my first year of college, I decided to go against the wise advice of one of my friends and ask a very strange girl on a date. I didn't know she was strange at the time, but soon found it out within about thirty minutes of our date. My good friend Don doubled with me and brought along the Burger-flipper girl that worked in the dorm cafeteria. She was something else. All of my friends stumbled over our words whenever we placed our burger orders and I would actually make more than one trip through her line. Partly because she was beautiful and partly because I had early ambitions of destroying my cholesterol.

Since there wasn't much to do in Idaho, Don and I took our dates to a movie. Things were going great. My date was definitely cute and she was from the south which I thought was cool, because I'm from the south too. I was having a grand time telling her stories when all of a sudden my date shushed me violently. I mean she shushed me like I've never been shushed before. There was spit and debris, my ears actually popped from the sound. She had the meanest look on her face as she scolded me for talking during the movie.

Whoa. Hold up. First of all, I wasn't talking during the movie. It wasn't even the previews. I was having a conversation during that opening credit scene where the cool jacket-wearing cat buys candy from the concessions and likes to sit on the front row. Secondly, spit? Seriously?

Naturally, there was this awkward moment that followed her shushing tirade where I had to ask myself "What do I do now?" If you must know, I took the high road. I zipped my lip, smiled apologetically and sat back to watch the movie without making any scene. Of course, I was only biding my time. Like a jaguar crouching low in a thicket preparing to pounce on an unsuspecting Howler monkey, I waited for my moment to strike. It happened about ten minutes into the show when my date politely asked me for another napkin to wipe the butter from the popcorn off her hands. Boy, did I ever lay into her. It was a masterpiece of shushing. It was the loudest shush I've ever done. Actually, to say I shushed her is an understatement. I SHWASHED her. There was spit, oh yes, there was spit. I think I even threw in my own rendition of "Shave and a Haircut" as I showered her with a deluge of spittle. People throughout the theater turned around to see where the shushing was coming from. My date was shocked, embarrassed, infuriated. I was... content and happy. Redemption? I think so. Needless to say, the date ended much earlier than originally planned.

You're probably asking yourself, how in the world did I ever find anyone as pretty as Heidi to marry me and the answer, my friends, is quite simple. I used my incredible charm and I lied straight to her face.

The Contest is now Closed

It had to come to an end eventually, but man did I have a blast with this character contest. My 2009 school tour is officially over and the Create-a-Character Contest is past the deadline. There will be no more schools until next year (which is like only three weeks away!) I'm starting to sift through all of the entries and it's a little overwhelming. I plan to have the winning entry picked by this upcoming Monday (December 7th). Here's a recap of my Exercising Your Imagination Tour:

• Visited 45 schools throughout Utah.
• Gave 48 school presentations
• Entertained and was entertained by over 15,000 kids from Kindergarten to 6th Grade
• Received just a shade under 1700 entries to my Create-a-Character Contest
• Broke 1 windshield
• Earned 1 traffic ticket (in St. George)
• Signed I don't know how many books, a statue, countless posters, a chair, a shoe, several random slips of paper, and an arm.

I'll be posting some pics of all the entries in a couple of days and maybe even some video (if I can figure out how to do it.) I can't wait to start another tour really soon!

Oh, and to top it all off, last night while I was signing at the Barnes and Noble in Orem, Heidi, my editor from Cedar Fort, showed up bearing gifts. She brought me one of the first copies of Hashbrown Winters and the Mashimoto Madness hot off the press. I almost cried!

I can't believe I now have 2 published books. It's so crazy. Oh, and I'll be receiving a box of copies in the next little while so stay tuned for a contest. I'm feeling like giving away a couple. :)

10 Quirky Things About Me

I'm sitting in that in-between posts time. You know, I do rants and nostalgic moments, I've done a few book reviews, and I'm constantly gabbing about writing updates and what-not, but I'm going to spend this next couple of minutes and do something off the cuff. It will be incredibly lame, but at least it will be posted for all to see.

Here are 10 quirky things that you may or may not have known about me:

1. I have a pet rat named Zoe. She's white with red eyes and I think she actually knows who I am. I like my rat, but I may have a mouse in the house too. I don't like the mouse. I can't find the mouse and it mocks me... daily!

2. I can twist my left hand completely around in a circle. It makes a great party trick especially when there's that awkward silence where the conversation ends and no one really knows what to talk about next.

3. I've been on national television before for slapping a second-rated WWE wrestler on the back as hard as I could when I was 14 years old. I think I've posted about this before, but I still remember that dude yelling in my face and my hand being covered in his back sweat. It was awesome!

4. I don't like peas. That's not really quirky, but it's true. I hate peas. I'll actually refuse to put them on my plate even when my kids are watching on. What kind of example is that? I know, I'm terrible, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lower my stands and allow those little, round, green pills of poo to share a space on my plate with my taters. I used to swallow them whole just to avoid the taste. I'd still swallow them whole right now if I was left with no other choice but to eat them. Peas = Gagayucker!

5. I own a giant ball of silly putty. It's at least 20-30 eggs worth. It's orange and full of hair and other garbage because it has fallen on the floor a bazillion times. Think about that... I spent over 40 dollars on silly putty. $40 could buy an oil change, a nice dinner for me and my wife, a video game for the children, warm socks for the whole family, several cords of wood in case we need to build a fire, an entire episode of a Rachel Ray cooking show, a (short) day at the spa for Heidi, almost 3 new release movies from Wal-mart, a new cage for Zoe, and the list could go on and on. But what did I buy? Silly Putty. Yep, and I think I need more.

6. I bare the resemblance of the following celebrities: the black-haired Italian dude off of Doogie Howser (and Newsies), the host of Street Smarts, the host of Man vs. Food, Grimace, an unopened can of Hominy, and Smurfette. Bad genes I guess.

7. Jobs I have held throughout my illustrious career: Chicken Dipper, Wood-Glue Scraper, Ice Cream Scooper, Door-to-Door Stupid Video Seller, Shoe Peddler, Human Resourcer, Midnight Sign Sticker-Upper, and Book Manager. Again, I guess these aren't quirky, more like random.

8. I have no feeling in the skin on my elbow. It's weird. If you pinch it, I don't feel it. I'm the only person in the world that has this ability. I sometimes wonder if should use my feeling-less elbows to somehow fight crime. I have a large assortment of capes and masks that could be utilized in this endeavor.

9. Things I'm deathly afraid of (no lie): Hippies (not just any hippies, female hippies... scary!) people crawling at me with their head down and their hair flopping wildly, staircases (more importantly people hiding under the staircases,) Mr. Rogers, Dentists, and Chupacabras. I'm not making this up.

10. Lastly, I like to walk on ice no matter how slippery and dangerous it is. I'll walk on it. If there's one patch of ice in a parking lot, I'll park by it so I can walk on it. I don't know why I do this. I've fallen so many times. I've ripped countless pairs of pants, caused myself injuries on more than one occasion, and dented up vehicles with my head. Yet, I don't care. Sliding on ice is fun. I don't have many victories in my life and so I see that patch of ice as a challenge to overcome.

Thank you for reading...

Davis County Tour

I was very fortunate to get the opportunity to visit some really awesome schools this past week. I had kind of figured I was done for the year, but luckily my schedule opened up.

On Wednesday I spent the day at Taylor, Reading, Holt, and Creekside Elementary schools throughout Clearfield, Kaysville, and Centerville. It was a blast! This was one of the first times I have ever stayed after at a school to go visit some of the kids in their classrooms. Their questions were awesome. They asked me how I got started in writing, what my favorite color was, where I came up with the names for my characters, and of course what day was my birthday. You know, the essentials! The Bountiful Deseret Book tagged along with me the whole day selling books to kids at the schools. I was able to hang out and do some impromptu signings as well.

It was a busy day, but I realized that presenting at the schools is one of my favorite things to do. There's nothing that can match the rush of having 500 kids laughing at something you've written. At Taylor Elementary, most of the kids had already read Hashbrown and that was a unique opportunity for me. Usually, I'm the first to tell them about my story. I was completely surprised that there were actually kids out there that were reading it at school! Also, I got to hang out with Christen Rast of the Davis school district. She was awesome! She kept me on schedule and kept me company in between schools. Very cool. I had a book signing at the Deseret Book in Bountiful that night to end my busy day.

On Thursday, I visited Cook, Centerville, and West Bountiful Elementary schools. Again, this was a fantastic day. At Cook, I had a lot of down time waiting for my next school, so I spent that time in the library chatting with the fourth and fifth graders. After words, I ate some pizza with the top A.R. (Advanced Reading) students of the school. We laughed a ton and some of us fell out of our chairs. Good times! Centerville was the school where Christen Rast's kids attended and I got to play a practical joke on her 6th grade daughter in front of the whole assembly. Needless to say, that was one of the highlights of my Davis tour. Oh, and I also got to sign the librarian, Mrs. Rawlin's, reading statue which was an honor in and of itself. My name was somewhat close to Brandon Mull's!

I finished the afternoon at West Bountiful and then it was off to East Layton Elementary's Literacy Night. That was awesome! (I say that word a lot) There were tons of kids and parents there for my presentation. Tamara the librarian flat out rocks! She makes me feel like a rock star. I signed a ton of books and it was so exciting to see kids getting geared up for book 2.

Then on Friday night, I had a book signing at the Layton Barnes and Noble where I got to hang with Lisa Mangum, author of The Hourglass Door. Wow! What a week. I love the fact that I get to do this from time to time. To top off my week, I received a really amazing e-mail in my inbox from a teacher in Sandy. She told me how much her students loved Hashbrown and how some of them were getting excited about writing their own stories. One girl had already started on The Adventures of Snow Cone Jones. I was literally blown away. Wow! What a week. I love the fact that I get to do this from time to time.

Oh, I almost forgot. On Saturday, David Archuleta came and did a signing at my store. It was absolute mayhem, but I did get to sneak a copy of Hashbrown into his gift basket. :)

Friday the 13th

What makes the number 13 so unlucky? I've never understood this. Of course, I consider myself a superstitious man to an extent and in my youth, the 13th was to be respected as a potentially very unlucky number. Black cats never bothered me more than any other cat. I spill the salt all the time, but I spill everything. Ask my wife. I really should invest in bibs. Ladders? Eh? I guess I see how they're dangerous, but only when I climb on them, not when I walk under them. Step on a crack and break your mother's back? Okay, I don't believe this one, but to this day I still subconsciously practice this law. I've even pulled a hamstring trying to avoid stepping on a crack. But 13. Some hotels don't have 13 floors. Why not? Well, okay that's kind of stupid. Just because they don't call it the 13th floor doesn't make it not so. It all goes back to that old saying, if a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it does it make a sound? This is gibberish.

Why is Friday the 13th so revered as an unlucky and spooky date? Is it because it doesn't happen too often? February 29th doesn't either. Hmmm. That makes sense though. Anyone born on the 29th of February would technically not celebrate their birthday for four years. Unlucky if you ask me. Do they age differently? Is it kind of like Jack (played by Robin Williams) or Benjamin Button? Weird.

Let's explore this further shall we?

A mathematical approach - 13... 1+3=4. There are 4 corners of the earth... which is round. That can be problematic for someone. Unlucky. The figure FOUR deathlock? Wrestling fans should know that this move was unlucky for many. Earth is 4 planets away from Uranus which is kind of an unlucky name for a planet if you ask me. We won't go there. Uranus has 27 moons which I just found out on Google. Neither here nor there, but thought I would share (hey that rhymed!). Uranus is also close to Saturn which has lots of rings. The Ring was a freaky movie where you died in 7 days. 7!!! What number are we talking about again? Oh right, 13 not 7. Back to the drawing board.

Math hurts my head. Let's research this differently from a more scientific approach. The 13th element on a periodic chart is.... Oh boo! I stink at science! I don't want to talk about this and you can't make me! FYI... the answer is Aluminum which really hurts when you bite on it with your fillings. If that's not unlucky I don't know what is.

History - Aha! There were 13 original colonies. Where are they now? Huh? Yeah, you're right, that's not really unlucky. Apollo 13? Unlucky than it turned out all right. Rats!!! I conclude there is no historical evidence out there that helps to prove why the number 13 is unlucky. I gave up after 2 pages on Google.

Baking - 13 equals a baker's dozen. Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors (which is 13 backwards.) There are 13 known reasons as to why you should never eat more than one Double Quarter Pounder from McDonalds. I will share those with you one day when I've recovered completely. Baking shouldn't even be a category on my list. On we go...

English - There are 26 letters in the alphabet, divide that by two and you get 13 (head's starting to hurt again.) The 13th letter of the alphabet is M. M is the first letter in Mandarin Oranges. I once cut my finger on the metal lid of a Mandarin orange container. So unlucky!!! Thirteen rhymes with... Hurt Spleen!! No one wants a hurt spleen. No one.

Wow! That was some extensive research. And now I've come to a conclusion about the number 13 that I think you'll agree with. Friday the 13th is unlucky, because you've been forced to read this entire post and now you want your life back. The entire 13 minutes of your life back. Duh, duh, duuuuuh!!!

Any Writers Out There

I've been doing this blog for quite a while now and it's been a fun outlet for me. I've been able to post rants and nostalgic moments, do a few book reviews and recommendations and of course keep people informed on what's been going on in my writing world. I think it's cool to look back at some of my initial posts. Back then I had no idea that I'd ever get published. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I remember highly doubting the possibility. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a rookie in every way, shape, and form, though I am getting up there in the years. 32 is not old for everyone, but for someone that still longs for Happy Meal surprises and likes to wear wigs while driving to see how many heads I can cause to do a double take, 32 is ancient.

But this post is going to be a little different. I want to know what people are writing (if they're writing) and where they are in pursuing their goals. I've got a few folks that follow this blog (granted most of you were tricked into doing it and probably regret the choice), but still I don't know much about who you guys are. Are there writers, poets, or illustrators that stop in from time to time and scoff at my poor grammar? Do they have published works under their belts or in the upcoming future? If so, do tell! Heck, if you want, you can even post a link to your blog or website or even to Amazon in the comments to tell the world (and when I mean world, I mean Frankie's little island) about your accomplishments. What do people typically set as a writing goal? Do you have a word count that you have to meet? A page count? What's your style of writing? Now, I'm sure there are people out there that don't want to be considered a writer and if that's case, you can tell us what you're reading right now. Or if you want to go the real easy way out, you can tell us who your favorite Dancing With the Stars contestant is.

I'm just curious, that's all. So, to kick it off, here's my update. I've written over 5,000 words on the third Hashbrown Winters tale (no title yet) and if you're curious as to where that puts me towards finishing another book, that's about 1/5 of the way done.

I'm also about a week away from submitting an entirely different novel for older kids, but I'm toying around with the title. Maybe you can help. Here are your choices:

The Tebah Stick
The Guardians of the Tebah Stick
or
Sweet Sally and the Dress in the Can (that actually is the real title of a home video me and my brother-in-law made a few years ago. If I ever figure out how to upload VHS video up to Youtube, I'll show it to you.)

Now, it's your turn.

Hashbrown Winters and the Mashimoto Madness

I know I've been away for awhile, but I was waiting for something cool to blog about. Now, I have it! Hashbrown Winters and the Mashimoto Madness goes to print within the next couple of days and now I have a cover to show for it. It's always been about the cover. For me, that's what truly made me feel that the book would actually be published. Adam Record is a super stud! I love all of his stuff and he totally nailed what I hoped the second Hashbrown would look like. I still remember the first time I opened the attachment. I was really nervous. I actually closed my eyes because I didn't want to see only part of the cover, but I wanted to see the whole thing all at once. I was so excited!

Now, here it is for your viewing pleasure. Please let me know what you think! And of course, get ready for Hashbrown Winters and the Mashimoto Madness due out sometime in January. If you liked the first one (or even remotely liked it) I think you'll really love this one.