5.29.2011

Nostalgic Moment #32

Fainting is weird.


That's it.

That's my post.

Enjoy.

Hold up, wait a minute. I can't just do that. I have to post legitimately.

From what I can remember, I've only fainted twice in my life. I have had a couple near collapses:


  • Jackson's birth, 
  • After being told by my track coach I would have to run the second leg in the 4x400 when I had just chowed down on several hot dogs, 
  • During a tragic episode of Silver Spoons.) Remember Silver Spoons? Aw man! I do! 
Here we are.... face to face... a couple of Silver Spoons....


Anyways, 3 near misses, but 2 full on faints.

The first happened when I hopped out of bed too fast to go shower for work a few years ago and then the next thing I remembered, I was laying on my back by the dresser and I had somehow pulled Heidi's jewelry box over top of me. I actually coughed out a pearl earring.

The second happened just last week in similar fashion. I jumped out of the bed (okay, okay I was all ready standing in the room attacking the wall in my sleep.) I can't remember why I was attacking the wall or what the details of my dream consisted of, but I do remember that the wall had it coming and I was wailing on it. Heidi woke up and scolded me something awful. I walked to the center of the room, made brief conversation with her, and then collapsed. I fell hard. Face first onto the carpet. I lay there for a while. Heidi got up (bless her), kicked me with her foot to make sure I was breathing, covered me with a pillow case, and went back to bed. She's my silver spoon! No doubt about that.

Fainting is one of those conditions I just don't understand. I've heard many a good tale of fine faints throughout the world. Usually they involve needles, or bloody knees, or self-inflicted fainting rituals, but they all make me laugh. Now, I'm not trying to lessen the gravity of how serious fainting can be. No, no. That's not what I'm doing. But have you seen those fainting goats? Hilarious!



Do you have a good fainting story to share? Please do, and bonus points for whoever can provide me with additional lyrics from the Silver Spoons theme song.

9 comments:

Tristi Pinkston said...

I have never fainted. I have come close, usually because of way low blood sugar, but never actually done it.

As far as the lyrics, Google is da bomb.

Here we are, face to face
A couple of Silver Spoons.
Hopin’ to find, we’re two of a kind
Making a go, making it grow.

Together, we’re going to find our way.
Together, taking the time each day.
To learn all about those things you just can’t buy.

Two Silver spoons together.
You and I together (We’re going to find our way)
You and I together (We’re going to find our way)
You and I together.

Frank Cole said...

Aw Tristi... You're blaming it on Google, but you know those words deep down inside. We all do.

Anonymous said...

I fainted at my friends house once, she still hasn't let me forget that.......

Anonymous said...

I was 12 years old when I humiliated myself!

I fainted just as the general (only a 2 star) walked in to pin the new rank on my father.

I had just gotten the world's worst perm. The hairdresser gave me an old lady's hairdo.
I hated the dress my mom made me wear.
I hated the shoes my mom made me wear.
It was 100 degrees in the room.
I had skipped lunch.

I turned green, then white, and went down like a sack of potatoes.

Some poor sap had to drag me across the crowded room and out the door into the hall where he waved smelling salts under my nose. (how long was I out that he had time to dig that up?)

The worst was that I had to go back into the room and stand in a receiving line where all 100 witnesses could look me in the eye and remind me of my humiliation, "you look much better than the lovely shade of green you were earlier". Ha, ha, funny little army men!

Ah, the memories!

I couldn't post using my email, so I posted anonymous.

Susan LaDuke

snlim said...

I fainted when I was younger... my mom was trimming my bangs- the typical Asian bangs that go straight across- right above your eyebrows (you're jealous, I know). Fortunately she was observant and just laid me on the ground until I woke up. That was that. Not quite as interesting as Susan's story- but then again, mine never are (lol).

Bee said...

1. I watched the fainting goats at least 4 times.

2. One time I fainted in Wal Mart. And then they had to call the ambulance. It's not something I'm proud of.

Frank Cole said...

Susan - That story needs to be in a book. Very funny!
snlim - I prefer Asian bangs.
Bee - Walmart makes me faint when I see those rolled back prices! Killer!

B.K. Bostick said...

I grew up in a small farming town and my friend had a goat. Since we didn't have many forms of entertainment, we'd get our kicks and giggles by sneaking up on the poor thing and clapping our hands. For some reason, watching that goat faint over and over never got old.

Anonymous said...

Took your advice and added my fainting spell to a story I am working on. Had to change it up, character is a boy. You more than any other author have inspired me to do what my mother has been asking me to do for years...write.

I hope it works in the story.

Thanks for your constant inspiration both to adults and to the kids you visit with at school!

Susan LaDuke