That's my post.
Hold up, wait a minute. I can't just do that. I have to post legitimately.
From what I can remember, I've only fainted twice in my life. I have had a couple near collapses:
- Jackson's birth,
- After being told by my track coach I would have to run the second leg in the 4x400 when I had just chowed down on several hot dogs,
- During a tragic episode of Silver Spoons.) Remember Silver Spoons? Aw man! I do!
Anyways, 3 near misses, but 2 full on faints.
The first happened when I hopped out of bed too fast to go shower for work a few years ago and then the next thing I remembered, I was laying on my back by the dresser and I had somehow pulled Heidi's jewelry box over top of me. I actually coughed out a pearl earring.
The second happened just last week in similar fashion. I jumped out of the bed (okay, okay I was all ready standing in the room attacking the wall in my sleep.) I can't remember why I was attacking the wall or what the details of my dream consisted of, but I do remember that the wall had it coming and I was wailing on it. Heidi woke up and scolded me something awful. I walked to the center of the room, made brief conversation with her, and then collapsed. I fell hard. Face first onto the carpet. I lay there for a while. Heidi got up (bless her), kicked me with her foot to make sure I was breathing, covered me with a pillow case, and went back to bed. She's my silver spoon! No doubt about that.
Fainting is one of those conditions I just don't understand. I've heard many a good tale of fine faints throughout the world. Usually they involve needles, or bloody knees, or self-inflicted fainting rituals, but they all make me laugh. Now, I'm not trying to lessen the gravity of how serious fainting can be. No, no. That's not what I'm doing. But have you seen those fainting goats? Hilarious!
Do you have a good fainting story to share? Please do, and bonus points for whoever can provide me with additional lyrics from the Silver Spoons theme song.