1. Once, when all the boys in my neighborhood were out riding their bikes one evening in their cool sweat suits, I decided to join them. Since I didn't have a cool sweat suit I went out in my pajamas. On a side note, they were the kind of pajamas that had bathroom flaps. I was 9 or 10. Uncool.
2. When I was first married, I took a job as a part-time plumber's assistant making minimum wage. The plumber that I worked with fit all stereotypes ever created about said profession. One day, we were working in a K-mart installing new bathroom fixtures. I was working on the sink when the plumber said he needed to go to the restroom. I thought nothing of it until I glanced up to where he was standing right behind me peeing over my shoulder into the urinal and acting as though there was nothing unusual about it. Mimes couldn't have sat any stiller than I did on that afternoon.
3. When I was 19 I went with my parents and brother to Six Flags. While there, my dad and I were waiting in the ridiculous lines for one of the rides. One of the workers asked if there were any groups of 2 that wanted to skip ahead and get on next. My dad quickly raised his hand and we were allowed to the front of the line only to discover that the man was referring to couples. Yes, I sat on my dad's lap with his arms hugging my waist in front of hundreds of laughing people. Needless to say, we didn't ride that ride anymore that day.
4. My brother and I were in Washington D.C. at a very prestigious hotel. We had been traveling with the family all day and were pretty disgusting. Everyone was wearing suits and ties, while we were wearing jams and sweaty tee-shirts. On our way down the stairs to go to dinner, my brother and I took off in a race and accidentally set off the emergency exit alarm. We tried to play it cool, running back upstairs to face our parents and tell them we had no idea what was going on, but they knew... the whole hotel knew.
5. While on a cruise with Heidi to the Caribbean, we decided one evening to skip the festivities (I think everyone was watching Pirates of the Caribbean on the top deck) and go catch a hot tub. The back part of the ship was almost completely empty and one of the pools was roped off for cleaning. We found a vacant hot tub and sat down and relaxed for awhile. As we were floating around lazily, watching the stars and the people heading up the sky rise to the nightclub, our heads bumped up against the side of the tub. This woke us from our daze and we looked down to discover that all the water had been let out. We had been bobbing up and down in about 2 feet of water for a good 5 minutes before realizing that this hot tub was also closed for cleaning. I can't imagine what people were thinking as they watched us swirl around in the slowly draining whirlpool.