A Creature of Habit

Man, I have a lot of habits. I was just thinking a little while ago that I tend to do some pretty strange things because I've done them nearly my whole life. Habits are hard to break, but some of these need to be broken.

1. I run up stairs. There is some method to this madness. Maybe it's because I want to get in shape (smirk) but really it's because the Boogie Monster's real and if I don't run up the stairs as fast as I can, that dude's gonna grab my ankle. I kid you not. This is a cause for many accidents and injuries. I think I've posted about this previously, but I'm not too agile on my feet.

2. I set my alarm clock to read anywhere from 21 minutes to two whole hours faster than what the real time is. This is because I believe I can fake myself out in the morning. That when I wake up and see that it is time to get up, I'll be relieved to discover that I still have some time to sleep. There was a time when I was nicknamed flash for one reason only. I could be out of bed, switch off the alarm, be back in the bed and sound asleep before anyone noticed that annoying sound.

3. I take in all of the groceries in one trip. The bags are literally dangling from around my neck, but if I have to go back even just one more time to the trunk of the car it puts me in a bad mood.

4. When I check on my sleeping kids, I purposely try to wake them up. Not because I'm a bad father (well maybe I am) but because that's the sure fire way to see if they're still breathing.

5. I have to have the ceiling fan going in my bedroom. It doesn't matter if it's twenty below zero outside and we have to sleep with a heated blanket. I won't sleep right without it going.

6. I call family members on the day before their birthdays and usually I have no idea that their birthday is tomorrow, it just happens that way.

7. I chew everything. Crunch it up. Lollipops, Popsicles, jaw breakers, whatever. I don't savor anything. Because of this, I have permanent scars on the inside of my mouth from where I've nearly severed my cheeks from chomping so much.

8. I smell everything. I can smell garbage, toilets, barf from a mile away. I drive Heidi crazy whenever I walk in to the house. "What's that smell? Do you smell that? What's wrong with your nose?" Heidi wanted me to add a little caveat - Apparently, according to her, I have a smelling fetish. It's a disease.

Granted, some of these are pretty basic and I'm sure there are many people that fall victim to these habits. My wife wanted me to list them as a form of therapy, that maybe I'll stop doing them one day.

No comments: