Rick's is for Kids
Boy is that statement ever true. I spent 2 solid years of my life at that frozen tundra school in Idaho and I can say with pure confidence that if you think it's all a bunch of FHE and testimony meetings, you're smokin' something off the grid. Now, I could go several routes with this post; some directions might be inappropriate for the readers of this blog. I'll name them, but that's about it. There's the "Midnight Sauna," "The Easter Basket," and "The Underwear Doll" to list a light smattering. Oh and let's not forget the "Food Poisoning Scandal" which is a great tale of terror, but not for the slight of stomach.
Instead I will tell you about one of my most brilliant date ideas that we pulled off on Halloween. Two of my roommates (Don and Regan) and I decided to pull a real doozy (can I say that word without sounding flamerish, probably not.) We picked our dates up right around 7 p.m. and promised them a night of pure fun. Immediately we had them blindfolded and then we proceeded to drive them around town for a good half hour. All the while the car was filled with their giggles of glee (that's also probably on that list of vocalization no-no's, but oh well.)
Finally after it was good and dark, we arrived at our destination and escorted our dates out of the car. We took them to our predetermined spot and then released them, telling them not to move and to wait five minutes before they took off their blindfolds. We promptly went and hid.
When our gals eclipsed the time limit, they took off their blindfolds and discovered that they were standing all alone and smack dab in the Rexburg cemetery (see picture above.) Shrills filled their air, one of these banshee-like screams was from my future wife, Heidi. They were very angry with us, but that was all the fun, and of course, the night was far from over.
We joined our trembling dates and brought them over to where we had set up a blanket to cuddle on. We had also rented a generator which was set-up and hooked to a television in which we began to watch Poltergeist. Our dates admitted that we were very clever, psychotic, but clever.
After a little while, I noticed a car approach slowly at the far end of the cemetery. I told Regan and he and I went over to scope it out. We were a little wary that it might be a police officer patrolling the area and that was slightly alarming. Apparently, it is "frowned upon" by law enforcement to rendezvous in a public cemetery... some whole disturbing the peace mumbo jumbo. Nonetheless, we did not want to receive any unnecessary tickets.
Fortunately, it wasn't a cop, just some other college kids taking their dates for a fun-filled night of hide-and-seek in the cemetery. We told them what we were doing and they gave us kudos for our brilliance. After a while, they grew bored with their game and left. Come to think of it, I never really stopped to consider what Regan and I would've done had it really been a police officer. It's possible, had my date not been my future wife, I would've opted to alert the cop of some disruptions on the other end of the cemetery and would have high-tailed it out of there. Oh stop your jaw-dropping, I'm not that much of a jerk.
The movie continued and our dates were quite literally creeped out. As I lay on the blanket, my eyes went out of focus, it was dark after all and I was staring directly into the only source of light. I might have been even a little drowsy, but that quickly wore off as once again the air was filled with high-pitched screaming from our women. I looked up to see what all the commotion was about and at first didn't notice anything out of the blue. When my eyes finally adjusted I became very aware of a large, black-caped, figure sauntering up to our blanket like some ghastly specter. I, too, joined in the screaming (I can only hope that mine sounded more manly, but that portion of nostalgia is a little foggy.)
Suddenly, the tall ghoul tripped on a grave stone and toppled right into my lap. Fortunately for him, I had fully overcome my third grade dilemma, if your not sure what I'm talking about, see Nostalgic Moment #4. Heidi looked desperately at me, smiling, though she produced a squeal similar to the sound of launched bottle rocket.
"You set this up, didn't you?!" she screamed. "You know who this is!" I think she was trying to convince herself.
I looked down at the squirming mass of fabric in my lap and shrugged my shoulders. I had no idea who it was and it certainly wasn't previously listed on our nightly agenda.
The caped intruder began to laugh and soon there were others frolicking around our blanket. It turned out to be the same college kids from earlier who were playing hide-and-seek, but for a fleeting moment, the thought that we were about to be sacrificed in some horrific satanic cult did cross my mind. We all shared a good laugh, but our date was pretty much done. Heidi and the other girls were trying to stifle their hyperventilation which makes cuddling a bit awkward if you know what I'm saying.