In a bit of a Pickle...

Well it's Thursday and although I work in the retail industry I actually have Saturday off. So I'm sitting here, on the cusp of Weekend's Eve and I've been seriously contemplating on what I should be doing. Yes, yes, a shower would probably be appropriate. Of course I'll brush my teeth and all that... Oh come off it! I'm not talking about personal hygiene right now! I'm in need of some inspiration. I need my next writing project. Something that keeps me up late at night with growing excitement. Something that reminds me of why I torture myself in front of a laptop balancing precariously on a television tray. So here are my ideas right now. Some of them are, to put it kindly, barf-worthy, but during a brainstorming session you must not restrain yourself.

1. My Life in the Midst of Idiots - A kind of humorous look at all the idiotic things people do that drive me crazy. Oh, this would be a work of fiction as our protagonist soon discovers that anyone suffering from the idiot disease is actually in fact and alien and the Overlords of these aliens are none other than certain door greeters at a certain retail chain...

2. Rewrite The Gothian Box - I hate to do this, because I love the story, but the fact remains that it needs rewriting. Rewriting to me is not creatively expanding. It's going back to something I've been turned off to and trying to revive it. This is my first finished novel. There's a lot of memories wound up in those pages and of course a lot of rejection and sadness from the world of publishing that snuffed its nose at it. There are also so many characters that I love in that story that I feel bad for abandoning.

3. Hashbrown the 3rd - Of course I should do this one, but right now I'm suffering from a serious spat of Writer's Block with Hashbrown. Perhaps it's all the excitement going on with the first one that makes it difficult to think past book one. I dunno. Maybe once I've got a few school presentations under my belt I'll be able to relax and think clearly again. For the moment... nothing.

4. Another Alien Story - I know, what's with the aliens. Maybe it was the girl that was serving chips across from me the other night when I was signing books. She was very loud and at random times she kept telling me (secretively) about how the Mayan Calendar was running out soon and that the aliens... the ones that built the pyramids, would be returning to take her and her aunt away on their space ships because no one else believed them. Needless to say I walked briskly to my car that evening ready to chuck my heavy jar of marbles at anything that came at me in a threatening manner, be it alien or be it scary chip wielding, hair net wearing girl. This alien story would involve mostly kids as the leaders of a military uprising to combat the aliens that have taken over our planet. Eh... maybe not. I don't know. Aliens? Really? I don't write sci-fi extremely well. I'm not learned in technology. Oh well, I'm not supposed to repress this creative energy so I'll let it stand.

5. I have a really dark, young adult horror/adventure story that's kept me up at nights - It's a break from the light hearted fun-loving tales of Pordunce Elementary that goes toward a really creepy premise. I used to write horror all the time until it scared me so much that I caught the night terror disease that I'm still recovering from. My sister used to freak out and tell me to stop scaring her with my stories, so I don't know if I want to open that whole can of worms again. Still, it's kind of a cool story line.

6. The Tebah Stick is technically ready to submit, but just needs a little revision here and there. That's by far my best written work (my opinion only), but again a revision is not necessarily (my opinion only) a start of a new direction. Don't get me wrong, I really love this story and can't wait until it has a publication date (if that ever happens... stay focused dumb dumb!) Anywhoo, it wouldn't take me long to revise it, but I don't want to do it half-heartedly.

So, there's my list. To be honest, there are many more ideas, but I don't want this blog to trail on forever. What do you think I should do? Writing is definitely my life right now, but I need a direction. I need help. If not to tell me what I should write, maybe to tell me what I shouldn't. Granted when the fever hits on a particular tale, I can do little to stop it. The Tebah Stick (close to 90,000 words) literally was born in a month because I could think of nothing else. When I revise it, maybe I'll put the first chapter on here to see what y'all think (sorry about the y'all, I was born in Kentucky.)

In other news, check out this wickedly cool review of The Adventures of Hashbrown Winters. Did I just say wickedly cool? Yeah, I think I did. Kim Smith is an up and coming author and she wrote a very honest review of Hashbrown. I loved reading this. It gave me chills. Check it out HERE. Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for her novel that is being pitched to big publishing houses right now and will most definitely appear in bookstores in the near future. It's called Sydney Wakefield Into the Faraway and it's awesome. Maybe, I'll review it here in a little while.

Also, check out the Halls of Pordunce Elementary Blog It's in its early beginnings, but I wanted a place for the Oracle to have free reign to complain. Other students will show up as well in the weeks to come. One day, it will be a fun little hot spot to see just a glimpse into the daily life at Pordunce Elementary.

That's all for today. Please give me your suggestion on what I should do. It would mean a lot to my tortured soul. Sheesh! That was grim...

"Blabbering Blatherskites"

Have you ever had one of those days where things just don't go your way? You know the kind of day, it starts early. First you wake up 2 minutes before your alarm goes off. Some people may like doing that, but nothing gets my blood boiling harder than realizing I was cheated out of 2 solid minutes of sleep. Next, you step on a stray action figure lying on the floor. It's not the squishy kind that the kids love to take in the bath because it makes bubbles, no, no, it's made of some kind of titanium alloy and it's armed and the weapon is pointed skyward. You hop in the shower half-expecting there to be no hot water (and if you live at my house it seriously is a gamble) but you're in luck, plenty of hot water, but that doggone bar of soap must be made of flubber because you can't hang onto it and when you reach down to pick it up you manage to crack your head against the soap tray. THE SOAP TRAY! That thing only sticks out 2 inches from the wall, but you manage to inflict a massive goose egg at the center of your skull! You stumble back into your bedroom and notice there's no clean underwear in your dresser, so you take off downstairs clinging to a towel only to discover that the drapes were left wide open and there must be some sort of neighborhood event going on outside because everyone is out conversing in the street and their facing your window so that the sun won't be in their eyes. I could go on... but you can already see where this day is heading. Yep, you guessed it, an all out shopping experience at the local (I'm not going to say it... I just can't bring myself to do it.)

Whew, I feel tons better after expressing that little anecdote. Now on to other things. Oh and kudos to the first person who comments and tells me what popular after school television show the quote in my title is from. It's a good one.

My website has had some improvements. One of them, I'm very excited about. It is my new Create-a-character contest that's kicking off immediately! This is a way cool deal that I think lots of kids are going to have a blast with. The rules are simple, but if you want a great visual aid to show the youngsters in your life, head on over to my website http://www.hashbrownwinters.com/

and click on the create-a-character contest link (it's the one with Whiz Peterson's head peaking over the top) All you have to do is create your own character complete with description, history and, of course, clever nickname and submit it to either myself at one of my many book signings or mail it to Cedar Fort. There will then be some very extensive judging that takes place to determine who has created the most amazing new character and then they win. Now this is the cool part. The winner gets to see their character show up in a future Hashbrown Adventure (probably the third, maybe the second) and they'll get their name in the acknowledgements! Not bad eh? I'll probably throw in some signed copies of the books and who knows maybe a marble or two. So start submitting! Tell all of your friends and their kids. This is a great opportunity to get them excited about reading and writing and using their imagination.

Next, there's a great review of The Adventures of Hashbrown Winters on Kathi Oram Peterson's blog. She's the author of an awesome book called the Forgotten Warrior that you can find at all the bookstores. Go and check out the review and read her interview with me. CLICK HERE.

Lastly, there's just one day left for the contest that I blogged about last. Read about it HERE or just scroll down an inch or two. I plan on blogging about all of the wonderful children's books suggestions made in a few days, but for now I'm holding out at least until Friday night at midnight. I know, I know, one week is just not enough time for people to feel comfortable with commenting and following my blog, but I'm sorry, I need to speed things up a bit. We need just a few more comments and 4 more followers. That's all, but unfortunately, I'm going to have to stick to my guns. So if you want to win the contest you're going to have to spread the word. So for all of my friends out there that casually stop by and read a page of my blog and continue to be non-committal with showing their support, this message is for you. I know who you are and thanks to Google Earth, I can see many of your front doors. Big Brother is watching and "e's no happy."

Busy, busy

Wow, life has definitely become crazy as of late. So many things to do and so little time to play Yahtzee on my I-touch. Seriously, what a complete waste of time that is, but for those that care, I scored 530 points in a single game the other day. Yeah, that pretty much rocks!

So, let us start with some news shall we? The official/unofficial release date of The Adventures of Hashbrown Winters and the Mashimoto Madness is set for January. Now that could definitely change, but for the moment you can scribble that on your dry erase calendars. Crazy huh? January! That's like ... (one... tahoo... um... carry the four... pi... oooh pie, yum!) Well, not that many months away. I'm not good with counting and I don't want to take my socks off to double my ability at the moment. I still feel Hashbrown is taking his baby steps and already another whipper-snapper is on the way.

I did get some somewhat disturbing news though in conjunction with the upcoming release. I'm going to have to do some serious cutting and editing. How serious? Let's put it this way, Hashbrown will be born in January but missing some major functionality in some of his body parts. Oh well, that's part of the industry I suppose.

We're less than a month away from the official school tour and I'm getting the jitters. I've been trying out some jokes on my kids and they have not done as well as I would hope. Basically, the jokes are lost on them, but when I make reference to poo or pee, I'm suddenly a huge hit. Hmmm, I wonder if teachers will like poo and pee references? Probably not... So back to the drawing board.

I've also been doing some author signings at Costcos and those rocked! We actually sold out at the Costco the other night and they had a pretty hefty stack of books. Of course, I've convinced customers that half of all proceeds go to the STF Foundation (Save the Frank).

Oh, and though I literally had to buy this dude lunch to do this and we're not talking extra value menu, but James Dashner (famous author of the 13th Reality series and the upcoming-sure-to-be-NY Times Bestseller novel, The Maze Runner) had some nice things to say about Hashbrown. Check it out HERE.

Okay, let's do a little contest. Now the last one went well, but I want more. So, this is how this one will go down. Pretty simple, I'm trying to boost the appeal of my blog. Meaning, I want to be able to look at it and think, wow, people like me! I know, it's egotistical, it's childish, it's so... the way this contest is going to go, so I don't care. :) We'll do another drawing, but I'm going to limit the prizes to just one. If you don't like this book, I apologize, but you can always give it to someone else as a gift. The prize is Fablehaven 4 by Brandon Mull and, the best part, it's signed! Yeah, I know, Frank is so generous, kind and handsome. Thank you. I'm blushing.

That's it.

Wait a second, I didn't tell you what you had to do to partake in this generous, kind, handsome offering.

K... Here's the point breakdown:

1 entry for commenting on this post about this question: What is your all-time favorite children's picture book and why? It can be a short or long comment or one that just tells me how lame my contests are, whatever floats your boat. Think of it as a way to express yourself about the wonderful world of children's picture book literature and in the process give me some great ideas for ones I'll read with my kids.

and...

2 entries for following this blog (those that are currently following, automatically get entered. How cool is that?)

Now, here's the catch... I want to see at least 15 comments (from at least 15 different people) on the post and 25 followers of the blog (there are already 14) for anyone to be able to qualify for the drawing. So, that means you may have to tell your friends and family to go on and comment on my blog, because I'm afraid there may not be 15 people that read this thing. I know I might have to do this drawing over the next couple of months, but that's okay, I'm patient (so not true.) We'll go for a week and see where we're standing after that.

In the words of the Joker from the Dark Knight:

"And here... we... go!"